Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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