there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
