Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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