i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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