His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize