I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
