If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
