i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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