She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
