Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I love you. Go after that dick
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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