My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
