took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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