I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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