What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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