i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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