My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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