When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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