at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
