i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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