Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
