I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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