At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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