i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize