can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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