Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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