she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Randomize
