Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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