physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize