Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
