Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
we're chasing vodka with high fives
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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