This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize