her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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