I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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