I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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