dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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