Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You took a bar mat shot.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
