From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
