god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
