Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation

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(678): View more from Georgia

Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now

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(980): View more from North Carolina

when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!

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