Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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