I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
