he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize