When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
