Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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