what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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