If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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