I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
