how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize