Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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