And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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