i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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