sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Someone came in the potted fern
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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