Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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