New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
