why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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