Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize