i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
