You made me cry and you don't even care
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
