booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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