So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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