you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
