: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
