So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
