If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
