Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
