She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
