I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
