If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
