evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
