WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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