The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize