from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
