I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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