i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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