I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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