with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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