No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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