I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize