I want to make a zoo with you.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I look better un-naked...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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